Everybody was wrong

Milliband, head of the communists,
lost everything last night

It’s like the day after the party, and everybody has a headache.

In the newspapers today across the countries of Britain and America, there is mortification, hand wringing, and confusion. All the polls were wrong, very, very wrong. The elections for Prime Minister yesterday was predicted by every metric, every number, and every one either put the Labor and Tory parties at neck to neck, or Labor just a little bit ahead.

Well, as it turned out, the British people did trust their Prime minister, and were thankful that during his time in office he has created a thousand new jobs a day, and they liked the fact that he promises by 2017 to let them vote on whether they want to stay members of the European Union.

Labor lost so bad that the head of the party, Ed Milliband, resigned. The Liberal Democrats lost so bad that the head of their party, Nick Clegg, resigned. UKIP lost so bad, holding on to only one seat that the head of their party, Nigel Farrage, resigned. That guy didn’t even win his own seat.

The Tories beat everybody. They beat everyone so bad that they don’t even need to form an alliance with another party. They have more than the majority necessary, something no one thought they would get, to rule on their own, without having to care what any of the other parties thought.

Just yesterday people were heralding the end of the two party system in Britain. This morning they are wondering where they went wrong. It’s sort of like when Mayweather got in the ring with Pacman. All the hype and nothing happened, the guy on top stayed on top.

The good news is that this time, there is no one to arbitrarily decide that suddenly the contest never happened, and the Tories can get back to what they have been doing. Resorting a certain amount of freedom in Britain, moving the country more right of center, and fixing an economy damaged from 13 years under Labor.

Andrew C. Abbott

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